The kids were gone for a week??
I hugged and kissed them whilst battling
the sinking feeling in my stomach. I spent the entire drive back across the M40 talking about them until I dozed off (in the passenger seat of course!)
They were gone for the week. I had the house to myself for 5 full days, a whopping 120 hours (= 7200 minutes = 4320000 seconds)
I’m not accustomed to being away from the children, being a switched on Mama 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Never having left the children with anyone before. I don’t even go to the bathroom alone most days and there is always one child climbing on top of me.
Something was missing and our home was incomplete. We are a family who spend a lot of time together, playing, cooking, reading and everything else in between so the initial shock of waking up to an empty house was rather odd.
As I sat and scanned the room I had the oddest feeling a glimpse into the future of a day where the kids will be grown up and they won’t be sticky hand prints all the wall, everything will stay in its place, no more evenings with bath time, goodnight hugs and kisses, mornings without my youngest waddling into my bedroom. These thoughts made me shudder and brought tears to my eyes.
However despite all these feelings I was adamant on making the most out of the ‘free time’.
The week was wonderful Alhamdulillah as foreign and strange as it felt initially. I slept like I’ve never slept before, many impromptu trips to random destinations, nature walks and just being able to operate at my own speed!
Few things I learnt about myself after a week without the Kids
- I have thoughts, real thoughts that don’t have anything to do with wondering why the kids are bickering again or dreading how early they’ll wake up again in the morning.
- Dinner is enjoyable. I can’t honestly remember the last time I enjoyed a meal without background whining or having to leave the table countless times. Mindfully eating instead of having to shovel it down.
- Having a shower by myself; effectively audience-free and without little notes being passed under the door.
- I enjoy my own company.
- My children aren’t always the reason I procrastinate with studying!
- I tend to use this excuse.
- Silence is very strange.I really miss my kids when they are not around
Just like that the week is over and the children will be back! They’ll be full of stories, gifts no doubt and lots of questions and energy! I can’t wait to see them and not sure I ever want them to leave again. Ever. Who am I kidding I’ll probably crave for free time without the kids by the end of next week.
Either way a lesson I learnt is you can enjoy yourself without your kids without the mummy guilt. Its healthy to be away from your children, ask for help and take it if offered. You are a whole person aside from being a mother with dreams, ambitions and goals. Fill your cup in whichever way works best for you.